Confessions of an A.D.D Hooker

I hate you cunt

2008-09-20T20:43:00.002-04:00

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Beannnnnssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweaters, Loneliness and Birthdays

2008-09-07T18:33:00.004-04:00

So Whore made me a sweater. Not just any sweater, but a fabulous sweater vest in, you guessed it, blue! I love the fricking thing! I still hate her though. Check it out! (and check out the snazzy new glasses!)

Chris is still gone...*sigh*...I feel like a single mom! I did redecorate the bedroom so it would be fabulous when he came home. I also had another stroke of genius ( I have them quite often now ) I had a blank wall in my bathroom and couldn't decide what to hang there. So after searching for Mom for an hour in her motorized cart at Walmart singing "I'm a Turbo Mother" to the tune of Judas Priest in my head, I found it!*and her* A dry erase board! It is quite cute, framed in black with a cork board around it for love notes! Now I can profess my love to the man of my dreams each morning! I know, we're sappy like that!

So Magnus turns the big one-one on Monday. He has school and such so we decided to celebrate today. We went shopping then out to ice cream. Came back and got Grandma so we could go to Walmart (as stated above). Max wanted McDonalds *gross*, but it was his day so we went. After our horrendous, fat filled, artery clogging dinner we commenced with the gifts. Chris and I finally caved and got him a Nintendo DS. Grandma got him a game and a watch. Thank God for the watch, now he doesn't have an excuse for not being home on time! Here are a few pics:

And 2 hours later...........

Devil's Hopyard!

2008-08-10T16:59:00.002-04:00

So Chris and I actually had a day off together and decided to take Max up to Devil's Hopyard for a little hike. It is a beautiful State Park with over 15 miles of trails. We decided on a nice 3.3 mile loop hike around the falls. It was a beautiful day! Of course Max fell flat on his face before we even started! Check out the slide show below!

OK.................

2008-07-27T20:13:00.002-04:00

So, I haven't been keeping my word and blogging. But in my defense, things have been quite hectic! Our personal bank account was hacked again! On top of that, the Navy decided to over pay Chris for a year and a half and now they want their $$$, NOW! It's like 5 grand or some crap like that! And the worst of it all, Chris got into a minor car accident last week and TOTALED his car! How can you total a car going only 15 mph? I don't know, ask Chris. Apparently, he swerved to miss a guy on a bike that cut in front of him on base and ran straight into a brick wall. Now I know what you are thinking, a brick wall, well that will do it. Did I mention that said brick wall was only 2 feet high? A word of advice, never buy a Mercury Milan. We had that car for a year and one little accident wrecked that car beyond repair. Lucky for us, we have a good insurance company and we got it all taken care of pretty quickly. Chris is now the proud owner of a jet black 2008 Honda Accord. This car is sweet! I mean it was almost worth wrecking the Milan to get this sucker! The dang car talks to you! And not only does it talk to you, you can tell it what to do. It is like the freakin' Kitt Car! So now that the drama is over, i sit back , relax and talk to an inanimate object for fun!

Saying goodbye sucks!

2008-06-19T16:48:00.002-04:00

So our friend Rahsaan is leaving us next week to move back to San Francisco. We decided to all draw little stick figures of ourselves and tattooed them on him. Now, you have to remember, I am NOT a tattoo artist. That crap is hard to do! Needless to say, it is not the best tattoo he will ever get, but it is the most special! I really didn't do so bad if I do say so myself! We will miss you Rahsaan!

Yeah, I know!

2008-06-18T10:16:00.002-04:00

So I promised Dad (Hi Dad, hope you got the pics!) I would start updating the blog. I guess I will just have to find time in my busy schedule to let everyone in the world know what I am up to. I haven't crocheted in ages! I am so busy with stuff and the weather is getting hot so I don't want a bunch of wool piled in my lap. I know it is a lame excuse, whatever. I was reading through my last posts and here is the update for today:

Chris is back from Portsmouth, but still underway *sigh*
I am now down 42 lbs since Nov. and am a respectable size 6
I am currently working on my Spin Certification so I can teach at WOW in July
Max thinks that saying "holy shizzle" is not actually cursing

That is all I have time for right now because I am sweaty and need to shower. I promise I will start updating regularly again!

Next post: The Decisiete De Mayo party!!!

You spin me right round Baby right round.....

2008-03-03T20:26:00.003-05:00

Ok, so my blogging has been on the back burner lately. I have been so busy. My computer lost it's guts and I had to buy a new one. I have upped my training sessions with Sloan to twice a week and trying to spend more time with Max. On a lighter note, I finally got all of my Rock and Shock photos framed and hung, now my hallway wall looks SWEET!

So, I am thinking of trying my hand at spinning. I just think making your own yarn really gives anything you crochet the ultimate "handmade" feeling. I am looking at a kit online and just seeing the fibers you can buy for sooooo cheap just makes me want to do it so bad. Plus, Whore has moved over to the dark side and started knitting....gasp! and handspun yarn just looks nicer knitted. I know I am just enabling her, but what can I do? I saw a huge amount of this beautiful deep purple silk for about 1/10 the price of buying it already made into yarn. I am thinking of trying to spin it into a nice DK weight so she can knit a nice tank or something. We'll see. God knows she will have enough yarn after her B-day trip to Webs. Who knows, maybe I will love it then I can make the yarn and Whore can make the items. I smell Etsy shop!

Trying to be healthy sucks........

2008-01-17T16:30:00.000-05:00

when everyone around you has the stomach flu. I CANNOT get sick! I am too busy! Well, what are you going to do? I wish I could go all ninja on those little virus's ass! I know I am next in line, I have been fighting it for a few days now. Chris comes home on Friday and I hope he doesn't come home sick again. I miss him and would like to see him out of bed, well, you know what I mean. The good news is I am officially down 20lbs since Nov. 1st. I have been working my ass off (literally) and it is finally showing. Spending over $300 a month on a trainer and gym membership is actually paying off. Now I just need to get back into Derby shape! Oh, and I hope you don't die a horrible death by a lotiony tissue Whore!

I'm not dead

2008-01-14T18:17:00.000-05:00

Just really busy. Between taking care of the fam, running a business, working out every chance I get, and carting Mom around to all her appointments, I just don't have time for anything. I don't even get to log on to the computer much. I spend every morning at the gym, which in hindsight is actually a good thing. I keep shrinking and I need new clothes. Anyway, Whore and I decided it was finally time to go back to Derby, and let me tell you, I have missed it SO MUCH! There is nothing like the feeling of wheeling around at top speed (which for me is about half as fast as everyone else) around the rink. I was a bit worried I had lost all my skating mojo since it has been over a year and a half since I was last on skates. But, besides a tiny blister on my toe due to new skates I felt fabulous! I was able to still do all the falling drills and still had all my other skills necessary to do contact. I should be reassessed soon and will forever be known as Red Red Kroovy, number Durango 95! As for crochet, I have been on a baby kick lately. A few people I know are having babies so I thought I would try my hand at making baby stuff. I actually like it. They are small and easy to finish. I have actually made 2 baby sweaters and have never finished and adult one! Now if I can just finish that blanket!

Ooo Rah!

2007-12-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

My son Joshua decided to come home from South Carolina to live with us again. We warned him that his family down south was crazy but he was hell bent on going down there to live. Well he found out the hard way and begged to come back home. What is a parent going to do? So he showed up on Saturday with all his stuff and announced he joined the Army. What the fuck?! That is the last thing I wanted! First he goes down south to live with the crazies now he wants to go to Iraq and get shot by crazies. He assures me that he is just in the Reserves and can stay there until he finishes College. I hope so, I am really not liking this!

Chris was home for the weekend (and doing much better after the Thanksgiving holiday in the hospital) so he wanted to give me my birthday present on Saturday because he wasn't going to be home for my birthday. He got me the most fabulous thing ever! I'm now the new owner a of a gorgeous Cuisinart Food Processor! (the largest capacity they make, it says so right on the box!) I was soooo happy! I have been wanting one for ages but with the $200 price tag has always been a bit out of reach. It is fantastic and I had to use it last night. Awwww yeah, homemade sirloin burgers, mmmmmmmmm.

Roadtrip!~

2007-11-20T08:55:00.000-05:00

I was sitting in the shop Saturday when I looked up and proclaimed that we should all go to Portsmouth. "Yeah right" Whore says to me, but I was serious. So we closed the shop and hopped in the car and make the 2.5 hour trek to surprise Chris and take him to dinner. We would have got there sooner if someone didn't have to pee. So Whore, TPM and I show up in Portsmouth and take Chris to dinner. It was a blast! We walked around downtown and bought some some mittens (they were knitted but it was cold and they were cheap) and ended up at the Portsmouth Brewery. We had dinner and these huge beer samplers. It was a 2 ounce glass of 10 different beers. Needless to say we got shitfaced and I was dancing with some stranger as we were leaving. And the best part? It cost us 6 bucks to get trashed. Whoo hoo we are cheap dates. We ended up crashing in Chris's barracks room because the hotel was full and drove home at 8am. It was fun! Whore has pics somewhere I am sure she will post on her blog!
Only 1 more day and he will be home all week for the holiday. Speaking of which, I have cooking to do!

So get this: Angie was at the shop yesterday hanging out and said something to the effect of "Hey, did I tell you about that guy looking for you on Craig's List?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She said apparently a guy saw me in Stop and Shop and thought we had a "moment" and wanted to find me. I looked up the post and sure enough, I remember the "moment", This is what he said:

hi your smoking hot with pink and black hair and very nice tattoos. tell me what aisle we made contact in you looked at me and smiled. hope you see this?

Hahaha! I remember very clearly now, I was walking through Stop and Shop getting some snacks to take to Chris up in Portsmouth. You know that feeling you get when someone is staring at you? Well I looked up and here is this guy just looking at me. So I am polite and smile and say hello. That was it, the big moment. I don't even remember what he looks like, but apparently he needs glasses since he referred to me as "smoking hot". Was I on fire? There was probably smoke emanating from behind me because of the friction from my thighs. Plus, he has very bad grammar. A total turn off if you ask me.

On another note, I know I have been neglecting my blogging duties lately, I have just been crazy busy. Between all of Mom's appointments and going to the gym every morning I don't have much computer time anymore. I swear I will try harder! I do have a few projects to post, I will get to them soon.

Ok, I have been tagged. Whatever.

2007-11-14T08:42:00.000-05:00

38 things about me that you may or may not want to know.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
My Trainer, he told me I had a fat ass and that was why I had to lift that heavy stuff.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Getting ready to go to the gym and getting Max ready for school.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Sleeping....yeah Ambien

4. What happened to you in 2006?
Ummmmm.....stuff?

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Don't forget your accordian! Which is funny because he plays the xylophone.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Water and a cup of tea

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Same color as my fingernails.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
I had to pay Sloan for my next session at the gym.

9. Where were you last night?
At home vegging out on TV

10. What color is your front door?
ummm, white?

11. Where do you keep your change?
The usual places, ashtrays, couch cusions, mason jars

12. What’s the weather like today?
Sunny!!

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
It is not fair to single out one.

14. What excites you?
Finally seeing my Hubby after him being gone, oh yeah, and Yarn shopping!!!

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
I think I might let it grow.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
I'm not over anything, I am quite a teensy person.

17. Do you talk a lot?
Haha, yeah

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
O.C.? Like Over the Counter? Does the Tylenol need watching?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
One really big guy with a weird eye.

20. Do you make up your own words?
Not on purpose, but sometimes they catch on.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Not really, I am very secure in my relationship.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "A".
Amanda

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kendra! (totally stolen from Whore)

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
Ummmm, I don't know where my phone is. It is probably Mom

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Fuck if I know, I am not getting up just to find out.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
What, like a hillbilly?

27. Do you have curly hair?
nope

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
The gym, I have a 9:30 kickboxing class

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Whore, she is a moody cunt

30. What was the last thing you ate?
ummm, Oatmeal and skim milk, exciting!

31. Will you get married in the future?
I hope not, Chris would be mad

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I haven't really watched any, I don't really have time.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I don't like anyone

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Last night

35. Are you currently depressed?
Nope.

36. Did you cry today?
Almost, my legs are so so sore i could barely get down the steps.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Whore made me do it.

38. Tag 5 people:
The only person I know is Whore and she did it already. Sorry.

God am I sore

2007-11-06T22:23:00.000-05:00

I have been working my butt off at the gym. I will one day fit in that little black dress! On another note, I haven't really had time to work on much of anything. Spending my mornings at the gym and driving my Mother-in-Law to her numerous Dr.'s appointments has been eating up my time. The shop has been slow so maybe I can start something new. I really need to start busting my stash. With Christmas around the corner I don't have a lot of extra cash to spend on yarn. I am gonna go stretch.

Things that go bump in the night

2007-10-31T20:06:00.000-04:00

And scary little boys roam the neighborhood. Here is the costume I whipped up for Max on short notice. I think it is just too funny. He won a "Most Original Costume" award. God I am a crafty bitch.

I'm not dead

2007-10-26T21:17:00.000-04:00

Really, I just have been super busy and kinda down in the dumps lately. I do have a bunch of projects to post, once I get pics I will put them up.

Apples, apples everywhere!

2007-10-21T14:24:00.001-04:00

So we took Max out to the orchard today to go pick apples. We had a blast! We picked about 20lbs of apples and I had to keep yelling at the boys to stop throwing and smashing them! Ah well, boys will be boys! Here are a few pics of our adventure!

Oh yeah, I made a set of mittens from the wool that Kinnat in Iceland sent me. One turned out smaller than the other! Oh well whatcha gonna do? I am off to make apple sauce!!!!

She got them.

2007-10-18T08:12:00.000-04:00

Yayyyyyy! Shelly has received my crocheted granny squares and they will be going into a blanket for a child soon. I should make a few more. It was very easy and it meant alot to her and the child who will receive the blanket. It does feel nice to do something to help someone out. Especially if you get to crochet to do it!

Well I attempted another wig hat. I tried to make a Wendy's girl wig. You know, the one with the big red braids? Well, it didn't turn out so good. Whaddaya gonna do? I decided to make a hat out of this sweet yarn called Ragdoll. I got it on clearance at Wally World. It is super soft and looks like someone threw up confetti, I LOVE it! I also need to finish my other mitten! Stupid ADD.

Ok, so it's not exactly crochet..........

2007-10-17T20:34:00.000-04:00

But I had to share. I made a cute hooded scarf for Whore on a whim. It is quite cute isn't it!

Elvis update!

2007-10-15T18:30:00.000-04:00

I found a new home for the Elvis hair! Doesn't Eric look handsome?

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Hair!

2007-10-12T13:09:00.000-04:00

I finished my Elvis hat, It actually felted up like I thought it would! usually I have an idea for a felted project and it turns out all wonky! I love how this turned out! I am heading to Vegas right now!

I am starting to think.......

2007-10-11T08:08:00.001-04:00

hats are my thing. I love to make them and they don't take me long at all. I made this one for Eric yesterday and I love it. I don't want to give it to him now! But I will, I promised. Plus Whore will rat me out.

I had an idea to make a hat that looks like Elvis's hair. Whore helped me come up with the idea. I am going to felt it so it really stays in place. It will be sweet!

Made with love

2007-10-09T11:00:00.000-04:00

I came across this link on someone else's blog called Share A Square .

A woman by the name of Shelly Kneupper Tucker had an ingenious idea. She is making crocheted afghans for children at Camp Sanguinity.

Camp Sanguinity is a camp for kids suffering from cancer. She feels that handmade afghans can somehow comfort these children when they need it most. What she is asking for is donations for granny squares to construct these afghans. I am sending out a package of them today. It is a wonderful idea and I am totally on board! Just knowing that a few stitches made with love can maybe ease a child's suffering just a tiny bit is totally worth it. If you can help, click on the link above and start stitching!

I finished something........AGAIN!

2007-10-07T23:24:00.000-04:00

So I was out shopping and I saw this beautiful scarf at a department store. It was a simple crocheted scarf with yarn woven into it. I couldn't believe the price tag....$40.00! So I thought to myself, I can make that! I went home and raided my stash and an hour later I had this:

The picture sucks, and I am wearing my jammies under that jacket, but the scarf looked so nice with it. I am now ready for cold weather!

I LOVE Stitch Stirers!

2007-10-07T15:43:00.001-04:00

A new Prompt is up for this Sunday! Everyone wants to know why we Crochet!!!

All I have to say is a skien of yarn and a good hook is a lot cheaper than an hour with a psychiatrist. Do you know how much yarn you can buy for 200 bucks an hour?????

Aww Yeah, I have a date!

2007-10-06T10:23:00.000-04:00

Chris is finally home for a few days. We are heading out to a Keb Mo' concert tonight. A nice dinner and a concert sounds like just the thing I need. Things have been stressful at the shop and I am ready to pull my hair out. Hopefully soon things will smooth out. I hate this shit. I am not used to stress, it is bad for my complexion.

Breast Cancer Awareness

2007-10-02T08:42:00.000-04:00

Go pink for October, protect your tata's!

Oooooh, a new Stitch Stirrers Prompt!

2007-10-01T22:07:00.000-04:00

Stitch Stirrers has added a new promt.
10 Things I Learned From A Crochet Hook

1. After setting down a project and returning to find your hook missing, always look in your hand.

2. A good hook is like a good man. Long, stiff, and always the size you need.

3. Just because a hook is pretty does not mean it will perform as well as your beat up favorite in your case.

4. Crochet hooks may not be as sharp as knitting needles, but can still puncture your foot in the middle of the night.

5. Never rely on your hooks color, halfway through a project you will realize your N is the same color as your L. And you will always use the wrong one.

6. If you are missing the one hook you need for a project, always check the middle of every skein in your stash.

7. A few extra bucks spent on a good hook is cheaper than blisters on your fingers.

8. Cursing a hook will not change your gauge, no matter how much you yell.

9. Sometimes a hook will fight you every stitch, this just means it needs more attention.

10. Treat you hooks with respect, they will return the favor

Oh what a night.......

2007-09-29T23:26:00.001-04:00

Sheesh. First the alarm goes off at the shop so I get home an hour later than I wanted to. I then decide I am going to wax my legs before Chris gets home. I look like a cave girl because when Chis isn't home I don't bother to shave. Who am I trying to impress? Anyhoo, I get a glass of wine, heat up the wax and get to yanking. I get halfway through the first leg when all of the sudden I pull.....and no ouch. I look down and the strip sure did pull off my leg, but the wax stayed put. I try again, and again, to no avail. I have a huge glob of wax stuck to my leg that just won't budge. Just at this moment, I am informed the dog needs to go out. I go downstairs, blob and all, and open the front door. Out of nowhere my crazy cat Charlie bolts out the door. I run out to grab her and she is nowhere in site. I run inside to get the kitty treats to coax her out. So here I am, in my pj's, covered in leg wax, shaking a can of kitty treats as I am walking up and down the street. I Catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye and take off to chase her down. As I get close to her I made a horrid realization. That is not my cat, it is a skunk! I take off in the other direction and pass Charlie on the way. I grab her and head for the house, but apparently she does not want to go and commences to tear me to shreds. So I sit here now, sticky and bleeding, and just wanting to go to bed. Chris will just have to snuggle with a cave girl in the morning.

And again, I miss a deadline.

2007-09-26T19:53:00.001-04:00

I was supposed to finish Ernie's blanket by today. It is his birthday and I really wanted to have it for him. I am only about 1/3 the way through. Fuck. Maybe I will just finish it as soon as I can and give it to him as a belated birthday gift. I suck.

On another note, Sam bought a few new books on Amazon and didn't like one of them. I bought it off of her for one stupid sweater pattern. I guess I am going to try my hand at wearables again, wish me luck.

Fuck you..............

2007-09-24T08:34:00.000-04:00

Fuck you Navy. Why must you take my Love away? I am really starting to get sick of this. I think the navy was meant for couples that hate each other. Not for ones like Christopher and me. I love that man so much! One day I will have him all to myself and I won't have to share with anyone, except of course you Eddie, pffttttt.

OH MY GAWD BECKY......

2007-09-20T23:04:00.000-04:00

Look at that blanket! Yes, alert the Press, declare a National Holiday, Niki finished a project. I still have to weave the ends in, but it is actually finished! I feel so accomplished, and Chris will be warm in Portsmouth. I don't know if I can part with it, Chris might have to fight me for it when he gets home. Now I have to finish Ernie's. Well, off to bed. I have a few busy days ahead of me......blech.

Stitch-Stirrers..........Hookers Unite!

2007-09-17T21:39:00.000-04:00

The first Stitch Stirrers prompt is up!

Even if you don’t consider yourself a poet, this should be fun and
easy. Your mission is to write a limerick–or several–about crochet. No
starting with “There once was a man from Nantucket…” though!

Ok, so I'm no Robert Frost, but at least I tried!

A cute little maid she was sitting
Crocheting a garment quite fitting
Then a grumpy old Beadle
Said your missing a needle
She screamed I told you Jerk, it’s not knitting!

Sara crocheted a top lickity split
But alas, it just didn’t fit
She looked up with a tear
And sighed, “Oh my dear”
It makes me so mad I could spit!

Ok, I'm not mad..........

2007-09-17T21:29:00.000-04:00

I am furious! I went to go construct the panels to my new blanket that I was so smitten with, and guess what? I MADE ONE TOO FUCKING LONG!!!! How in the hell did I manage that??? I was so excited that I was finally getting somewhere and BOOM! No blanket for you! That's OK though, I really liked it, I will finish it, I swear. Hahaha, good one. At least the long one found a good home. Instead of frogging the whole thing I gave it to Kendra's friend and told her it was a scarf. She LOVED it! That made me feel better.
I need to finish the one I started for Ernie. It was like crochet karma. I bought all this yarn in his favorite colors for no reason, started to make a blanket, then found out his B-Day is next week. Perfect timing. At least I will be pushed to finish the thing. It is so easy though, I just might finish it on my day off tomorrow. Keep your hooks crossed.

Epiphany

2007-09-17T08:50:00.000-04:00

I have realized that wearables are not my forte. For some reason I seem to be gravitating to blankets. I want so bad to snuggle under some fluffy warm crocheted beauty I have made myself. The one I started last week is about 1/3 done. I finised the small panel last night and am ready to start construction. When I was out shopping with Chris for the house I just happened to stop by Michael's, and wouldn't you know it, yarn was on sale. I picked up about 10 skeins of Simply Soft in blues and grays. Why, I don't know. After I got home I started staring at it and thought to myself "those are Ernie's favorite colors". I started whipping up a granny square and realized an hour later that I had a chart laid out and about a third of a blanket finished. I started scanning the internet for square patterns and found a bunch that are just calling my name. We will not be cold this winter!

Correction:

2007-09-15T10:29:00.000-04:00

My husband is absolutely gorgeous. Bowchickawowow............

Bah

2007-09-12T08:24:00.000-04:00

I feel lousy today. I want Chris to come home. All of a sudden it is cold outside.What-the-fuck? It is not time for cold yet. I had a weird dream that me and Max were hanging out with Ronnie James Dio last night. Talk about a nightmare. I did drink a bit too much last night while sitting here watching American Psycho. Cool movie, I will have to watch it again to fully get it. I almost finished a panel yesterday. I would have finished, but I realized I fucked up on the very front of the second round! ARRGGGHHHHHHH I had to rip back almost to the beginning. Dammit. Well, at least I will finish it today and maybe I will join them to see what it will look like. I finally got my phone hooked up. And wouldn't you know it, the phone guy was absolutely gorgeous. And here I am, in my P.J.'s, hair flat on one side, sticking straight up on the other, and big black mascara circles under my eyes. I was a beauty to behold. Whatever, he was just the phone guy. I guess I will go get some breakfast and grumble some more. Pffttt.

Holy Cow........

2007-09-06T10:23:00.000-04:00

Have I been busy! Between the shop, settling into our new home, soccer practice, and other boundless chores I have not worked on anything! Whore wanted to go to AC Moore yesterday, so after the water guy came we headed off. I have not bought any yarn in weeks because my budget was tight with the move and Max's b-day coming up so I figured I would treat myself. I found this pattern for a blanket in a 1983 issue of Crochet Magazine and fell in love with it. Of course the colors they used were putrid, it was the 80's for God's sake! I figured I would try my hand at it since all the wearables I attempt just downright suck. It is a simple pattern all in dc shells, and is worked up in panels. Which is great for my ADD because I can finish one and feel accomplished and not too overwhelmed. I finished the first panel yesterday (pics sure to follow once I find my camera in the huge mountain in the garage)and only have 12 more to go...haha. I chose a dark red, a dark dust blue, an olive green and some sand. I was afraid it would look to "Americana", but Whore assured me it looked fabulous. I just have to keep telling myself it's just a blanket. Hopefully I can finish another panel tonight. I really like it and want to finish it. Well, off to finish the laundry. Bah.

I am finally moved!

2007-08-29T14:39:00.000-04:00

FUCKALLOTOFTHATFUCKINGSHITIAMNEVERDOINGTHATAGAIN! And I apologize Eddie, I did not realize it would take 3 days! I told Chris we should hire someone to move us. It would be expensive but worth it in the long run. I never want to climb stairs again. Next time, I am definitely hiring people. I don't care who, anyone who will carry all that shit I have accumulated over the years but don't have the heart to throw away up the stairs. On the bright side, my house is EFFIN' GORGEOUS! We are still getting used to it and settling in. The cabinet door fell off the first time I opened it, and I went to make a pot roast and the oven didn't work. But, it has been fixed and everything is now wonderfully hooty tooty.I have not been able to crochet in a week! Now I have a sweet sitting room with comfy chairs where I can sit and hook to my hearts content and not have to listen to the stupid box, because daytime TV sucks when you don't have cable yet. Fuck you Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer, I am well adjusted have better things to do.

I wish I had a pic of my beautiful new home, but I don't. So here is a pic of a beautifully made piece for your viewing pleasure.

I need to find a new project to start. Fall is coming and it will be time for cozy sweaters and such. Who am I kidding, I won't finish them. Why do I even bother? I hate you Whore, why do you make shit so quick????

I wish I could

2007-08-21T11:57:00.000-04:00

I so badly want to break out all my yarn and just start making stuff. The problem is we are moving. Someday. They keep pushing us back, giving us excuses like our cabinets aren't in or crap like that. My yarn is packed and I don't want to start anything big because with my ADD and all, I will just forget what I was doing and have to start all over. I wish we could just get into our new house already. Sheeseh. On the bright side, we are not allowed to paint in the new place so I found these awesome decals you can put on your walls then remove without damage. I am gonna place this cute sucker under all my autographed photos of Horror Movies Stars! Isn't he cute????

I told her we needed an appointment.

2007-08-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

Of course, Whore and I show up promptly at 10:30am to get a pedicure after a bit of fun at Dunkin Donuts (which is a different story all together, let's just say we made the donut lady blush) just to find out they didn't have room for our toes. dammit. So we decided to go out and try Dagmar's again. Of course, they weren't open. So we headed to AC Moore. I was not going to buy yarn today, but, yeah. 20 skeins later I am trying to stash it in my backseat so Chris doesn't see it. He doesn't care that I buy yarn, but we are getting ready to move any day and I just keep adding to the shit we have to pack. Apparently, I am not smart enough to put it in the trunk where it will be well hidden, so he sees it the second he gets out of his car. I am so smart, s-m-r-t.

I am almost done with that striped hoodie I designed myself. Guess what? It's too fucking big. Whatever. I sketched a few designs tonight I would like to try, maybe I can get Whore to help me out with them. I also started a cute filet crochet pillow (Yeah, ADD) that says "Fuck Off". Quite charming. Someone will love it. whatever.

Oh yeah, and Dad's car is HOT!

Touche

2007-08-14T15:04:00.001-04:00

I love my beautiful wall hanging I was surprised to see hanging in front of my piercing station at work. Whore so lovingly crafted it using cheap ass acrylic yarn and a filet stitch, clearly spelling out the word CUNT. So, to return the favor I crafted one just as lovely, using the same cheap ass scratchy yarn. I hope she loves it as much as I love mine. Twat.

My Gauge Problem Solved!

2007-08-12T11:33:00.000-04:00

And I am a dumbass. I learned to crochet when I was little from my Grandmother. I have been happily stitching away thinking I knew what I was doing. Guess what, I didn't. I have been doing it wrong this whole fucking time. I was at Whore's house last night so Chris could hang with TPM and yak away about guitars and music and their 15 seconds of fame. I was leafing through a new crochet magazine and stopped on a pattern Whore wanted to show me for a plaid skirt. I was reading the pattern and said "hey, the stitch in here is labeled wrong. They call it an extended single crochet but it is just a double." She pulled out a hook and went through the motions as I read them to her. She looked at me like I had bugs on my face. "That is why your gauge is so small!" She screamed at me. "You are doing it wrong!" So I sat there with this dumb look on my face while she showed me the correct way to double, half-double and treble, cursing my Grandmother for teaching me such nonsense. I am frogging my Prepster today, and starting over, bah!

Hi Mom!

2007-08-11T21:03:00.001-04:00

You silly blog stalker you!

ADD Strikes Again!

2007-08-10T22:16:00.001-04:00

So I finished all the panels and the collar to my Prepster and all I have left are the sleeves. I was all set to finish it and then disaster struck. I cannot find the rest of my yarn for the sleeves! Fuck Shit Fuck Shit. I know it has to be in that huge pile I call my stash, but we are in the process of moving and I have no organization. I am sure I will find it eventually, but now the moment has passed and I started working up the back portion of a striped hoodie I wanted to make. It will be my first ever self designed piece. I went to AC Moore last night and they had this beautiful soft black yarn on clearance. I went back this morning and found Lion Brand Wool Ease in a gorgeous deep gray for a hoodie for Chis at only a buck a skein! We will be semi warm this winter, if I ever finish any of these projects!

At least it's clean

2007-08-06T09:24:00.000-04:00

So, with Jay leaving we decided to overhaul the shop. That shit was dirty! But after 3 hours of scrubbing and dusting and moving shit around, our shop is sparkling clean. We still have a few things to take care of today but all in all it is beautiful. Today we start fresh, turn over a new leaf, blah dee blah blah and so forth. Whatever, it is clean and we can now relax. And maybe, just maybe, I will work on my Prepster!

Chris was home for 1 whole day this weekend. It was so good to see him but I miss him terribly. He will be home on Tuesday for almost 2 weeks. I won't know what to do with myself (but I know what I will do to him...hahaha). Moving sucks but it won't be long before we are settled and I can enjoy my new place. I wish I had a remote to fast forward through all this crap, but then you know, you saw the movie, I will die in the hospital parking lot not ever knowing how my life went. I guess I will just have to suck it up. Hurry home Love, I miss you!!!!!

Saddddd Eyesssss.................

2007-08-03T21:58:00.000-04:00

So Jay left today. I can't believe he actually did it. I have spent the last 3 years of my life seeing him almost everyday. We all spent the whole day just kind of in this weird limbo, acting as if nothing was wrong. Then closing time came, and we stood around just looking at each other. We finally had a tearful goodbye on the porch of the shop. I didn't think it would be that hard. Seeing Kendra in tears and walking off screaming "I love you Big Guy!" like she was in a movie made it at least tolerable. We were laughing too hard to keep crying. That man has drove me so crazy on so many levels and has made me so angry so many times, but I am going to miss the Mother Fucker. No matter what happened, we were always a family, and now one of us is gone.

The ADD strikes again.......

2007-08-01T22:35:00.000-04:00

So, I still haven't finished my Prepster. It is just too hot to be working on a sweater. But now, as my ADD strikes, I have this idea for a cozy winter hoodie. I am going to attempt to make this without a pattern. I really want to start it but I am dead set on finishing my Prepster before I start any other big projects. But I really want to try it out. I have it perfectly pictured in my head. A warm black hoodie with a large off centered stripe, and a cute skull added to the side. It will be fabulous! Well, if I ever finish my Prepster. Bah.

Oh yes, today I recieved my huge box of crochet magazines. Whore and I spent all day at the shop going through them. I found a ton of patterns I would like to try. I cannot wait to move to the new house so I can finally have a place to be organized. Well, organized for about a week. This way when my ADD strikes and I have a ton of unfinished projects they will at least be piled up neatly.

AArrgghhhhh........................

2007-08-01T00:43:00.000-04:00

I want my Husband home!

They are finally here!

2007-07-30T16:24:00.000-04:00

I dropped Max off at the house this afternoon from summer camp and waiting on my doorstep was a big box. I took it inside and opened it. It was my Needlecraft magazines form the 50's I have been waiting for! I cannot wait to read them and see what fantastic patterns are just waiting for me. I will wait until my stack of Crochet magazines show up (hopefully tomorrow) and then it is off to Whore's house so we can sit and drink coffee and ogle them for hours. Hope you're not busy tomorrow woman cause I'm coming over!

I really should be working on my Prepster.

2007-07-29T16:50:00.001-04:00

Today I decided to put it down for a bit and do a quick instant gratification project. I made a tea cozy. Yes, you read that right, tea cozy. I know, tea cozies are reminiscent of your blue haired granny making cozies for everything from the dish soap to the toilet paper, but I couldn't help myself. I love tea. Not your run-of-the-mill Lipton crap, but exotic, aromatic, loose leaf tea you have to steep lovingly in a cute teapot before you drink it. I know, I am hooty tooty like that. The problem is, after you make such delicious tea, it starts to get cold before you finish the pot. So the tea cozy was born. I have tons of teapots, and could probably make cozies until they come out of my ears, but this one is my favorite and I will stop there. No more cozies, I promise. I was very proud of myself. I did it completely free form without a pattern.

On another note, I also made a few dish towels and rags for the new house. Chris is convinced they won't work. He thinks they are made like the old acrylic afghan his Grandmother made. I will just have to show him won't I?

Well, moving day is fast approaching so I must pack. Shit, who am I kidding, I have new yarn.....muahahahahaha.

Life gets in the way

2007-07-27T21:45:00.000-04:00

I want to finish my Prepster sooooooooo bad. I am getting so close I can almost feel myself wearing it. But you know, life gets in the way. Besides taking over the tattoo shop next week, I also got the go ahead from the Property Manager for Navy Housing to move into a brand new unit. I am having a yard sale tomorrow to try to purge the place of all the shit I have accumulated over the past 5 years that I don't need. Believe me, it's a lot of shit. Well, I still have down time at the shop to work on it so hopefully I can get it done soon. Once I do I will post pics. As for Whore, she is designing these super cute bags, you should check them out:

Whore's Everything Bags

Oh yeah, and thanks for Operation Stealth Kitty this morning.

Car Love

2007-07-25T14:25:00.000-04:00

I have always heard of people talking about the elusive "car love". The constant comments of "Oh I LOVE my car" and "I will be happy to drive!". But alas, I have never experienced true car love. I have been driving a 2000 Daewoo for the past 8 years. Are you finished laughing? It was one of those "necessary cars". The ones you buy because you are broke and have to have transportation. I must admit, the Woo had been good to me. Even after I poured 4 quarts of oil into her when the oil light came on it still ran for another 3 years. Hey, Chris always said if the oil light came on I better put oil into it or he will kill me. He never told me how much, a needed piece of information considering who is writing this right now. Anyhoo, I now believe I understand the concept of "car love". I confess, I hate to drive. I won't go get necessities because I have to drive a whole 10 miles to get them. We can live without toilet paper until I have to leave to go to work right? But now, I actually love to drive. I leave early and take the long way just so I can prolong that feeling of zipping through traffic with Rob Zombie blasting from my ipod. I am sure the novelty will wear off eventually and I will revert to my usual whining about not wanting to drive. But it won't be for a long time. This is the last time I will talk about my new car, I promise. I just love the goddam thing so much.

That new car smell...........

2007-07-24T19:52:00.000-04:00

The Great and Powerful Woo is dead. So, I got it. My dream car. Nothing too fancy or too hooty tooty as Chris would say (He said it once drunk and it stuck). But It is beautiful, red, brand new, and mine. The guys at the dealership fucked up and didn't have my remote key, and messed up on the price etc. etc. so Chris let them have the all mighty smack down. Of course I missed it because I had to take Mom to the doctor. Ah well, I now have free oil changes and they took care of the rest of the little crap I was going to have to do. Fuckers. Oh, you probably want to know what it is. It is a shiny candy apple red 2007 Mazda 3.

Black interior, ipod dock, Sirius radio, and I even got a key to my tires so they won't get stolen (my most favorite feature by far, really, who needs a tire key?) As for my Prepster, it had to go on my back burner for a bit, buying cars suck. And of course, Whore already has her pieces done, what a jerk.

To set the record straight..............

2007-07-23T21:10:00.000-04:00

I did not copy Whore. Quote: "I just started a crochet blog, it's kinda gay but fun. You should do one too!" -Whore

To read Whore's Blog that I apparently copied,
CLICK HERE

How did I ever live without them?

2007-07-23T18:42:00.001-04:00

A wonderful surprise awaited for me when I went to drop off Max at home. My shiny new Clover cushioned hooks were here! How did I ever live without them? Now maybe I can crochet for more than 15 minutes without complaining. On another note, I have the first panel of my Prepster done and the second about a 1/3 of the way there. I might just finished it. I also got a new book today: "Not Your Mamma's Crochet". I actually bought it for Whore but there is the cutest pattern for a cozy pea coat I MUST have! I cannot wait until my huge load of crochet mags show up. Must go yarn shopping!!!!

Vintage patterns and yarns galore

2007-07-22T22:19:00.000-04:00

I just purchased a huge lot of vintage crochet mags on ebay. Another reason for me to buy skein after skein of yarn that will continue to fill my dining room and collect dust. Like I ever needed a reason, bah. There are just too many incredible patterns. But, with my Prepster almost done, I must prepare for a new project. I want to be warm this winter dammit! I wanted to make my chunky hoodie, but alas, I cannot find enough yarn. So, by the time my new patterns arrive I should be ready for something new. Even though by the time I actually finish, Whore will have at least 3 more projects done. I hate her and her lightning fast crochet fingers!

The Prepster, I WILL finish it!

2007-07-22T22:12:00.000-04:00

I am almost there, about the half way point. Farther than I have ever gotten on a project without starting a new one. I am determined to finish. Sam (since she refers to me as "twat" in her blog, we will call her "whore" from this point on) started hers the same time so it has kept me motivated. I bought adorable buttons for it today so I just HAVE to finish. Wish me luck, I am going to need it.